Keeping the secret

Photo by Natasha D'Souza.

Photo by Natasha D’Souza.

Tim and I were engaged for a week before we told anybody. (He proposed without a ring. The next weekend we went and bought one, then went and bought a shared cell phone plan, and only then did we feel we had proven our commitment enough to share the news.) That week is one of our favorites of the all the weeks we’ve spent together. We thought that perhaps keeping my pregnancy a secret would be similar. It wasn’t.

We decided not to tell anyone I was pregnant until Christmas. We’d be with family in person, it was right after the first trimester, and, most important, we could be cute about the announcement by giving grandparent- and aunt- and uncle-themed gifts without letting on that they weren’t real gifts.

Some people tell sooner. Some people post a photo of the pregnancy test on Facebook. We didn’t. Waiting seemed like the right thing to do, even though it was very, very hard. You can only skip a certain number of happy hours before friends and colleagues start to wonder.

Of the many moments it was hard to keep my pregnancy a secret, the hardest moments were the following: (1) two friends announced their engagement and I couldn’t steal their thunder and say “How exciting! I’m having a baby!” (2) my brother announced his engagement and again I had to let another keep the thunder, and (3) at a holiday party friends were sharing their highlights of the year and I couldn’t share my true highlight, which would have been the best highlight and I would have won. I would have WON.


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