Feeling feelingsPosted: January 30, 2012
Hormones make people feel things. Like feelings. Under the current onslaught of hormones I’m feeling feelings. The feelings I’m feeling are the following: orneriness, impatience, frustration. I am wearing the horcrux necklace. I am wearing The One True Ring. I am burdened.
It physically hurts in the morning to wake up and have to accept that the world expects me to leave my bed and be a contributing citizen. I like my work, my walk to work, my colleagues, my apartment, my city, my life, my days, but what actually gets me out of bed is the promise of cereal. Nothing trumps cereal. But then I’m sad again after breakfast because my next breakfast isn’t for 24 hours and I’d be a horrible parasite host if I ate cereal for every meal.
Every activity between cereal eating is a task, the worst of which is having to choose clothes to wear that are deemed appropriate. This is excruciatingly hard work, and no argument exists that can rationalize this standard that prevents me from wearing a tank top and leggings at all times. And shoes are stupid. This is what the incurable affliction of hormones has saddled me with (besides barfing).
Sometimes in an effort to stop feeling so many feelings I imagine I’m a sitcom actress playing a pregnant character and all of my feelings and associated behaviors are situational and exaggerated and thus humorous. But so far my imagined audience has been bored and unconvinced and I hate them.
I am comforted – about as equally as I am disgusted – that I can’t do anything about the felt feelings, so at least there’s that. And Captain Crunch. (Which has 100 percent folic acid in every serving.)
I may take up growling.