Conspiracy against pregnant women (me)


Just because I am carrying a future Wonderful Addition to the World doesn’t mean I expect special treatment. I am, however, acutely aware of the people who are personally out to make life harder for me. I’m onto the following people:

  • Every smoker within three blocks.
  • The food cart vendor who secured his spot years ahead of time knowing I would walk by him every day and would one day be pregnant and be forced to smell meat cooking at 9:00 in the morning.
  • The food cart on the same street who sells donuts, delicious, chocolate-frosted donuts with no nutritional value but taste the way vegetables will taste in heaven.
  • Every driver whose car is an inch or more into the crosswalk.
  • People who run on sunny days.

I knew I’d need to give up beer and coffee and hot dogs and pogo sticks, but I couldn’t anticipate that these vindictive individuals would be out to get me.


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